Today’s idea is to open a chain of bars which specifically targets families. A lot of pubs allow this during the day but kids aren’t allowed in after 7-8pm. My new bar would, and in fact it would specifically target that family market. This new kind of bar wouldn’t be a place for drunkenness. It also very definitely wouldn’t be a crèche where you can punt your two-year-old in a tank of plastic balls while you get tanked on cheap lager. Just a nice bar to socialise with friends and family where you can have that European culture if you want it. The choice would be yours.

The market I’m sure is there.

It has been noted that in the past I may have sang out loud while on route home after a night out. I may have even sang “Hey Hey We’re the Monkees” while doing the walk with my friends. What I didn’t do however was hang around daily being a constant pain in the arse to residents.

As I get older I notice more and more young teenagers (sometimes younger) with nothing to do other than hang around the local pizza shop, getting pissed and generally make a nuisance of themselves until the very early hours of the morning. We all ask “where are the parents?” But the sad answer probably is that the parents don’t give a hoot.

My thinking then jumped to a computer game I love. The “Call of Duty” games allow you to go into military combat and experience maybe just an inkling of what war might be like. My favourite bit is always using the Sniper Rifle. Then my mind married these two things up.

Drawing together on my experience of sniping in Call of Duty and my severe intolerance of tracksuit wearing, drunken gypos who cause nothing but bother in all the towns and cities across the UK (and no doubt every fecking where else) I propose the following:

If you want to be an arse in the street and cause no end of problems – that’s fine. As long as you consider it fair that you may be shot. Selected persons will be posted on street rooftops and if they spot repeat offenders causing bother, threatening others, fighting, putting people in danger and generally being a feckin arse – they’ll get shot – probably in the leg.

I can supply a complete White Paper if the government want to investigate this further. I’m not sure if this latest policy would make me ever so slightly right wing, and if this thinking has come with age?

Tower Bridge Premier Inn - Congestion Charge Problem

A bonus (we thought) was the hotel had a car park.  What was only mentioned in the small print (now that we’ve checked) is that the car park is 50 yards inside the London Congestion Zone.  We arrived on a Friday and left late on Monday and now we have 2 fines for £60 each.  That’s £120 for travelling 100 yards within the congestion zone.

The website for the Premier Inn does tell me that the hotel is within the zone – in the small print, but what I’m annoyed about is that the staff didn’t mention it when we checked in and out.  I asked specifically about car parking but the congestion charge wasn’t mentioned.  Surely that’s a must especially when you have non-Londoners staying regularly.

Word of advice about the Natural History Museum too. We made the mistake of going on a Saturday and the queues at the main entrance of the building were huge. There is however a side entrance which we simply strolled in! There was however a huge queue for the dinosaur exhibit, so we actually returned on Monday to see that. Pick a quiet day and go early to avoid the crowds.

We followed that advice for Madame Tussauds Waxworks on Saturday morning. We queued for just over an hour (after getting there only 15 mins early – tired bunch we were!) and we had free tickets for the kids. I would’ve been pretty annoyed if we didn’t. As an exhibit on its own it’s pretty average. There actually aren’t that many waxworks! Flickr photos to come so you’ll see how good/bad the waxworks were. To be absolutley honest – I wouldn’t recommend it unless you have vouchers.

We all climbed aboard the London Eye on Friday evening and got a great view of central London. The boys were pretty amazed that there was no countryside to see even when you’re that high up.

On Sunday we visited Liz Windsor but I think she was having a nap because her blinds were down, so we all went and had a very pleasant time in St James’s park listening to a brass band play, while Londoners sat back in their deckchairs and took in the sun and music. Very chilled.

More info and picks to come when I get them all uploaded to Flickr.

What a day Saturday 15th May was.  For only the second time in our history and in our centenary year Dundee United beat Ross County to lift the Scottish Cup at Hampden.

Our wee squad consisted of me and Jojo, Tony, Nic, Craig, young Neil, Heny, Barry, Preston, Aves, Boydie, Scott and Peter.  Most of us met up at the Church on the Hill pub near Hampden which was pretty much all Arabs.

Kudos to all the Ross County fans though.  Everyone was really friendly and there was not one bit of bother between any supporters at all.

When we got to the ground ex United player Paddy Connolly was behind us in the queue.  And he was the first of a few old players that we saw in the crowd.  We met Dave Bowman next and Tony was speaking away to him as he knows him from the school coaching programs they work on for the kids.

At half time Heny pointed out that a few rows down from us someone was wearing an Erik “Pederson” United top.  Erik was a hero of ours in the 90′s and is a bit of an Arab legend.  The lad in front of us turned to tell us that it was actually Erik and he was wearing his original United top!  We had to go down and say hello where we discovered he was at the game with former players Kjell Olafson and Lars Zetterland.  Hopefully we didn’t scare them too much and we got a couple of photos taken.

Thanks for that gents.

We managed to win 3-0 with goals from David Goodwillie (1) and Craig Conway (2) and the celebrations were to begin.

After Hampden we went back to the car park and realised it would take yonks to get out so went to the nearby Asda to get some refreshments (no drink for me – I was driving).  The place had been decimated (in a good way) by the United fans.  We strolled past the drinks isle to notice there wasn’t much left.  We later found out that for a time the fans were actually on the top shelf of the beer section passing down the crates.  My favorite bit though was that someone started singing “There’s only one team in Asda” and all the Arabs in the shop joined in.

Aves got interviewed after the game for the TV.  Link here – Aves at 2mins in.

We got back to Dundee eventually and ended up in the Royal Arch in Broughty Ferry.  It’s safe to say it was a fairly partisan mix of people out that night and we all had a few drinks to celebrate.

Sunday we strolled to the city centre to see the reception for the team and then unfortunately we had to set off for home – otherwise it would’ve been another day of celebrations.  I’m sure there are a few sore heads this morning!